Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Overview of Pre- and Postmarital Counseling Sessions

Important Questions for Clergy: Initial Contacts with Couples before Marriage

Session I: L’Dor Vador: Honoring One’s Parents—Exploring the Meaning of Each Partner’s Religious Heritage and Identity (Articulating Past Religious Experiences)

Session II: Creating Kiddushin: Meeting Each Other’s Religious Needs as Loving Partners, Sacred to Each Other (Identifying Present Religious Needs)

Session III: Maintaining the Sacred: Recognizing the Awesome Moments in Your Lives: Personalizing Your Ceremony of Sacred Commitment to Each Other (Expressing Future Goals)

Session IV: Creating a Marriage of Meaning: Clarifying What Each Partner Envisions for Future Family Life (Confirming Marriage Vows)

Session V: Six-Month Follow-Up: Marking Moments of Awe and Appreciation of Each Other

Session VI: First-Anniversary Follow-Up: Renewing Your Commitment to Hold Each Other Sacred

Working with Intermarrying Couples: Giving the Gift of Raising Children in Your Partner’s Faith

Working with Conversionary Couples: Honoring the Parents and Extended Family

Concluding Comments

Suggestions for Intake

Suggestions for Rabbis Who Do Not Officiate at Intermarriages

Sample Questionnaires

Getting to Know You

Envisioning My Wedding Day